Yes, you CAN call us on the phone!
However, please READ this carefully before you call and observe the
politeness and simple considerations outlined here:
1. This number is our personal phone. We’re just a little mom-and-pop farm, not a big outfit selling greenhouses and tanks with an office and receptionist; so we use our house phone as the business line too.
2. Before 8 in the morning and after 6 at night Hawaii time, Monday through Friday, we don’t answer the phone AT ALL, except for personal calls. If you call before 8 am or after 6 pm, Hawaii time, the answer you get will be “Oh hi, this is a business call; please call back during our normal office hours. Click”. If you call during the weekend, you need to be one of our close friends.
3. We will accept calls from you if you wish to purchase one of our products, and have questions about whether it’s the right one, or what it includes. This the ONLY kind of phone call we have time to answer. You know, we currently have 14,517 people on our newsletter mailing list. If 1 percent of those people called us per day, at 5 minutes a call, we’d be talking for 12.41 hours per day!
4. IT’S NOT A PHONE SUPPORT LINE! We offer free, unlimited, lifetime technical support VIA EMAIL for all our products. We DO NOT provide that support via phone! Even if you have purchased something from us, if you phone us with support questions we’ll reply: “Sorry, we don’t do technical support via phone; it’s handled via the email you received when you bought the product. Click.”
If you launch into questions about “how does it work”, or tell us about your great aquaponics idea, or just want to chat about aquaponics, we will simply not answer. We can’t; we tried doing this the first couple of years we did aquaponics, and the phone chat time built up until it ate us alive. If this is why you called, we’ll reply (as politely as we can, because you were supposed to have read and understood all this first) “Sorry, we don’t do free phone support or aquaponics consulting. Click.”
Like we said, it’s a small mom-and-pop farm; we’ve got to run the farm to make our living, and yakking on the phone just doesn’t pay the bills. Hope you understand.
PS: Oh, and don’t leave messages; we only use the message machine for personal messages, and tend to delete all business messages because people didn’t bother to read all this before calling us. You should have bought a squirrel.
Our phone number is 808-640-1981.